Thursday, March 15, 2018

2018 Update

Hello my sweet readers! I will start with a status update of my physical condition, then onto more happy things.

** It would really help me if someone from Europe or the UK could let me know if the cookie warning shows up when you access my blog ** Please :)

Please excuse my grammatical errors.. I figure you want something to read and my stress level dictates how much I can do.. which means my panic of bad grammar stifles my writing.

    Apologies for being absent for so long, it's been a trying time and I have tried my best to reply to mails and messages but of course it's an uphill battle.
My illness, being called Fibromyalgia but the doctors seem to agree it is compounded by an as yet undiagnosed nerve disorder, is still spiraling down. I don't mean to depress anyone or give out a free pass for being absent, I just wanted to update you on what is happening. My fatigue and brain fog is getting to the point where it is difficult to read or write without a lot of serious effort, my pain is severe and constant, and I have a long list of symptoms that just keep accumulating. Mini surgeries, tests galore, and appointments with a myriad of doctors.. 

    BUT - I am hopeful. About six or seven years ago, several of the dead told me something would happen 8 years from that point that would bring improvement to my illness. Maybe it was just so I wouldn't give up hope, but I choose to keep hope. Hope is free of charge, keeps our morale up, helps us look for answers harder, and makes sure we aren't dragging everyone down with a negative attitude.

    I want to write more and I want to explore more of what's out in the big unknown world in which we live. There is so much we don't know and that is quite clear when I see doctors' confused faces when they try and find out what's the deal with my illness. As children, we think adults know everything. As teens, we think we know everything. As adults, we realize - we're all just trying our best to make it through the day. 
    No one person can know everything. So we can't easily collate, compare, analyze, notice discrepancies, exceptions of everything known - imagine what a massive undertaking that would be! Monumental! That means we can't see the forest for the trees most of the time: the picture is incomplete due to our limited brain capacities, truly efficient and non-agenda based networking between minds, and access to untainted facts. So many people have agendas when it comes to information display. Money, fame, power, quid pro quo (like when one person wants their article/book/film/show to have more credence via more people having the same opinion etc) relationships, politics, and so much more come between you and truth. I love open source projects that get rid of negative motives and just work towards something special.
    So what is MY agenda? Sure, I have one - and here it is in order. Mainly I want to have documentation of my experience saved to the Internet and since my memory is foggy due to illness - I can use this blog as a way to remember. Secondly, I want to share this with others in a simple and easy to access way so they can compare their experiences.  Thirdly, I like the fact that I can connect with other human minds and hear their experiences.. nothing makes me feel more proud of my blog than hearing others derive meaning from it. I want us to work together to explore this beautiful and weird world. I certainly don't want to be famous - that has never seemed like a good thing to me. Last, I wouldn't mind having revenue - as being disabled is depressing enough without having no independent income. I want to promise you that I will never distort my experience for revenue.. I'd rather be poor. I don't want cars or big houses or a lavish lifestyle. My illness, in a sad sounding way, stops me from being able to spend money on a lot of things as: I can't travel much, I can't drive, I won't have kids as I don't want to pass the illness on, I am too tired to go on shopping sprees, etc etc.. BUT it doesn't make me sad.. I like my simple lifestyle. What I am trying to say is that if I was rich, the money would be hard to spend. What I mean by wanting revenue is just having enough money to get off disability and providing for myself. Sorry, this sounds like a sales pitch? No.. maybe begging? I am okay!! 
    Alright, not sure where I am going with this.. I like to share what's on my mind too much sometimes. Onto the article.

What do Spirits Want from Us? 

I always ask myself about the agendas of people - both living and dead. So what do they want from their audience? 

When it comes to spirits.. things become more simplified. What can they get out of you?
1. Attention:
    Sometimes spirits want someone to notice them. Imagine how lonely it could be if you spend years without encountering one other spirit and nearly no humans can see you? Some spirits isolate themselves from others.. I am not sure why. Some cases are obvious - guilt can cause them to think they are not worthy of having friendship. 
    Sometimes attention is required to prove something to themselves. Some spirits learn how to communicate through sounds, through electronics, dreams, human mediums, etc, and getting your attention is a way to test their progress. Of course this is opinion derived from my experience, as is anything in this blog. 
   Sometimes attention seeking behaviour is childlike, from a child spirit or a spirit that is childlike, and is just attention for attention's sake. 
2. Reaction for Entertainment
    Sometimes, just like humans, spirits want to get a rise out of you. This is pretty simple. A single spirit or a group of spirits can use this as entertainment or even revenge. I have even seen spirits trying to get a two living people to notice each other romantically! But this might fall under other categories. Onwards.
3. Companionship
    A friend. Not just attention for one day, but continued friendship. I treasure my spirit friendships. They are some of the deepest and most intimate relationships someone can have, but can also be detrimental for those who choose to only have spirit friends over living friends. The living need the living. We are learning together and have shared experiences that can help both members. We have PLENTY of time to have spirit friends but a really limited time to have living friends. The afterlife seems infinite, although there is no way to truly know that - infinity is immeasurable. 
4. Fear for a Purpose
    Think stereotypical haunting.. "Get out" "This is my house!" - territorial defense. Not just buildings, places, and things - but people, too. I once saw a sad husband chasing away the suitors of his living wife. The wife came to me asking for help, but there was no reasoning with the husband.. There is something powerful about that sort of commitment, but the wife was left alone. No kids, no lovers.. just an empty house and a spirit husband she couldn't see, hear, or feel. It took another two years for him to move on, after a suitor he thought was 'just like me, he can be my proxy' (to paraphrase)
5. Help the Spirit
    They want you to be their physical presence and do something they can't do. Be it telling a loved one they hid some money for hard times or finding out how they died, there are so many ways spirits can need help.
6. To Spread the Word
    Some spirits are so overjoyed when they learn about the beauty of the afterlife, or some amazing truth that has been out of reach for the living - they want to tell you all about it. This can be detrimental to the living as life is hard and the afterlife SEEMS easier. But again.. whatever struggles you go through in life - give it a chance. Make suicide your last resort. Things can miraculously change and flip from awful to amazing.. and if you kill yourself before then.. well you regret it for a long, long time. Again, the afterlife is a long time and with a different kind of memory - you can remember things crystal clear enough to haunt you for centuries or more. Regret can make a heaven into a hell. BUT sometimes learning that the afterlife is good can help you carry on living.. knowing that something so beautiful awaits you. It has certainly helped me keep a positive attitude.
7. To Help YOU
    This is something I see a lot with my major pain episodes. The days when I am in so much pain, it is a challenge to think of anything else - spirits will come and try to help. Be it to give words of encouragement, to show you what comes as your reward after life, or even to use some of their strange (and rare in my experience) abilities to siphon some pain away. 

Of course there are more things they can get from you, but this is a sampling. The living can want so much more from you. Be wary of those asking exorbitant amounts of money to contact the dead, see the future, give you luck, etc. Try to think about what they want, add up clues of what they are about

What do People in the Psychic Industry want from you?
Here are some things you can add up to find the sum of the person asking you for money, time, items, or favours:
1. Is their website filled with merchandising, advertising and links to partner sites that have more of these things? Of course, some people are tying to make a living, so this clue by itself is not always enough.
2. Do they often say things like "You have to spend money to make money" or similar encouragement to justify high prices. 
3. Is their place of business filled with props? A lot of fakes will set the mood a little too much. Again, this clue by itself is not enough to say they are duping you. Sometimes people like the props, it puts them in the zone. Personally, I don't like them, but that is preference. 
4. Are they dressed in expensive clothing, drive expensive cars, etc? Of course this could just mean they are wealthy from other ventures in their lives.. but if they keep saying they need donation money to survive and they are decked in designer clothes driving a $80k car... It's easy to overlook these things.. it might seem like common sense but some people are great at putting you in a buying mood.
5. Are they suggesting you enroll in a tiered or leveling program? Like you start off as a novice, then build up to adept, and one day become a master.. each level costing more and more money? This is a huge red flag. Some courses might be legitimate but I have yet to find one that guarantees you to be able to speak to spirits. 
6. Do they always ask you to bring more friends? Maybe giving you discount for each friend you bring?
7. Do they say you NEED to read this book or that book?

There are a lot more red flags but I am not saying that just having one of these means you are dealing with a crook. I just mean that things add up.

Alright, that does it for today. I hope to write often, and I treasure your emails even though I might not be able to write back to them. I AM going to feature some emails when I can, as many need to be shared.

Thank you for your continued support. It means a lot and I love each and every moment reading about your thoughts and experiences.

Take care of yourselves and have a wonderful day!

Friday, April 22, 2016

Brave Spirits Share Their Experiences with Suicide

Trigger warning: suicide, death. This is a hard subject but one I feel is very important.

It is truly tragic when humans suffer so deeply that there seems to only be one path in front of them. We feel alone, scared, or sometimes just "done." Maybe we all feel this way at one point or another, but some of us make that terrible journey. There are commonalities to these experiences, ardent regret, the most potent being the need to stop people from following in their footsteps. 

I was asked to communicate with spirits and relay their answers to specific questions. What I want to share are the answers to the questions. It was truly amazing to see the fast response, the eagerness, the focus of these spirits. And it was beautiful to see how much they truly cared. 

*I left the typing/spelling mistakes from the communication in case they bear meaning and also I want readers to know what to expect when receiving messages from spirits. It is fast, frenzied, and it isn't easy. It takes decades and fast typing to keep up with them, especially when they have a LOT to say. Spirits have to force themselves to slow down just to say anything to the living.
- we are disabled by physical laws perhaps? The boundaries of flesh and bone compared to the meeting of energies. *

So here it is, I am honoured to show you the unedited (uncensored) conversation from a reading about suicide.

Charley says: "I was 29 when I hung myself. I suffered from spina bifida, parkinson's and pain which drove me to drink. I took steroids for the pain and inflammation. I took heavy narcotics. I slept under heavy sedatives. Hanging myself seemed like a fast choice, but it easn't. it was hard and painful and took so long. I was awake when they found me, but dead. My mom found me and she screamed so loud. I wanted to apologize I wanted to scream back that i was still here but couldn't. All I could do was swing back and forth as she broke down. she is still alive and I hear her screaming still. that was 8 years ago. the pain stopped and my body was young again. i met my grandfather who was in the war when he died. i saw the world without the lens of pain. but i could always hear my mother my brother and my sister crying. my father would say hate things at me. he once called my name eleven times to make sure i was listneing and he called me a coward and a thief for stealing his life away. my grandmother prayed each night for my mother and talked to me. she was and is my only i
comfort about what i did. she feels me there and tells me she forgives me and understands and apologizes for parkinsons since it comes from her side of the family. My dog still sees me. she is so old she is going to die soon and I hope she comes to me. i have met a lot of people that have killed themselves, not everyone has the same experience. please think hard before you do this. i don't think my family will ever forgive me besides my grandmother. life is so short. the afterlife is so long. I mad a mistake I know but I don't know if I would stop myself if I could go back in time. many spirits look down on me for what i did and many feel sorry for me many more just don't care they have their own stories." he finishes by "let her know many people care both here and alive people. I should have tried everything before suicide. Everything and seeing as many doctors as I can. I would have moved to a place with free healthcare. I could have been a test subject. I could have had those new implants. fuck I could have done so many things now that i see clearly. i have so many regrets. at least i should have waited a few years before i did it. I should have told my family and hear their suggestins. i hope she makes the right choice."

Linda says, "I don't regret what I did. I was alone and in pain so much it was all I did. i was old and suffered my life with this and paid my dues to society. at 89 it was a no brainer. no one was there to visit me no one was there to mourn me and i had no friends besides thenurse i saw every day. i thought about it all my life but i am glad i waited. i got to see so many interesting things and touch and smells and taste. i miss food and how it tastes on my tongue but every spirit misses that. we can eat but it's like eating in a dream. not always the same taste you expect or texture. my pain didn't go away until a year after i killed myself. well the nurse helped me, bless nurses. the doctor was okay with it too. i don't know why it took so long for the pain to go away after i died but some spirits say it is like a phantom limb for amputees. i met a young lady who still feels pain sometimes after a decade of being dead, she died of cancer at 25. lovely girl. she feels it so bad sometimes but her family is there and many friends. she says it gets better. but i have met some who die and their pain is gone right away. i am happy i can dance again, laugh hard again, walk for as long as i want. oh and there are some who feel pain now but had none when they were alive! think about that, how strange life is. I have seen many things on earth before and afterr my death and the most powerful is courage and love. please think this though and know i understand. i see many people around me waiting to talk so i will go now. be good."

"Dandy" says: "I was in aeronautics when i was diagnosed with liver cancer. Never had a drop to drink in my life, never ate fatty foods beyond the odd chip bag a week. I flew and I repaired planes. I flew a Bowing 747 (not sure if this is the number.. he is hard to hear and will not channel through me.) for the better part of nine years. oh god if you haven't seen the world from a plane, you need to.  My advice isn't like these other people. I didn't have pain for as long as some of them, and I wasn't sad or lonely or frankly, I think my family was happy with my choice. I don't want to get into the details of it too much, but it was a doctor who helped me and my family was all around me - it was beautiful. But once I died, geez the waterworks lasted for weeks. my daughter is the hardest to live with my being dead.. she cried every night and lots during the day and went to the school shrink and cried some more and cried here and there and everywhere. I would try my damnedest to let her know I was there, she even did ouijie to try and contact me. it wasn't me, it was her stupid friends. Anyways, this isn't my advice. the others will tell you about that I'm sure, all the crying. My advice is that you do a lot of things before you die. I went on vacation with my family, get inssurance for hospitals, we had parties and when I was too sick to do much we had movie and show marathons at the hospital from my stupid little metal bed. My daughter sat at my side and chose a lot of the movies. I hate twilight but i loved the smiles on my girl's face when she watched them. We even started watching game of thrones, I wouldn't have let her watch that normally but this was a special occasion. I see the medium is watching it, she has the dvds on the coffee table (he's talking about me). I still watch shows from here, just have to know who is going to watch and when. Usually my daughter watches it over and over and of course cries a lot, but she says it is so I can see it. I watch movies with her too, but I think most of her believes I am not really theree. that I am just gone into nothingness. She can't feel me. Back to it, so do what you need to do before. Make a list, a calendar of dates to do things, make it like an appointment or job. Watch what you need to watch - oh read what you need to read because that's the hardest thing to do entertainment wise. Make a list of the books you want to read. Classics are the ones I wished I read more and mysteries and non fiction. We went to Bangkok where I met her mother. Toured Egypt - wow those pyramids and sphinxes and statues! I was sick as a dog but loved it. so hot. we were about to see the waterfalls at niagara before I got too sick to travel. But we made these posters with the photographs of our trips and hung them on my hospital room walls. so many flowers. liver cancer. cancer is a bastard. I wish I had done those runs and other charity drives for it. My wife does them now. sometimes my daughter when she can. I can't wait to see the again and let them know I was watching the whole time, yes the whole time Melissa! Maybe they'll read this one day. Pot is still bad for driving. Oh I can't punish her for it, that makes me mad. Back to advice. Tell your family about it first, let them help you. Otherwise they'll feel like they could have done something but you didn't let them and it'll rot them from the inside out. Think about them the most, because once you do it - there is no going back. It took five minutes for me to die, scariest thing in my life, but after that the pain was gone. I found a suicide counsellor who made me do all the steps beforehand, like I,ve been saying about telling your family, trying new things, travelling, etc - all so that I could be prepared and have a clean conscience. They say dying is better if you do it right and don't take dark secrets to your grave. My gravestone is beautiful, by the way. they did a good job. I have to go, just think about it a lot. Give yourself a lot of time before the deadline, sorry for the pun."

I think this person's name is Alice or Alissa or Elessa, she is pretty shy and quiet. She has an accent that I can't identify - either Spanish or Italian or something like that. 
She says: "Don't do it. I can't tell you that enough times. Such sorrow and such loss. It is a mess. I suffer no pain here but the emotional pain I feel is so great I would gladly trade it for pain. Maybe I forget how bad the pain was but I feel so guilty and I miss my family so much I wish I had more time talking to them. That's all."

Andrew or  Andy Rue - his communication is mainly pictures and movie like scenes. This is a hard one to read, you might want to skip it, These are all hard but this one hit me hard. But I asked for advice and this spirit was adamant.
I see a blushing bride, smiling, I see a groom smiling. I see twenty adults around them, and twelve children. The kids are smiling, some have missing teeth from their baby teeth leaving them. I see a drum kit, I see a drummer. He's very good. I see him crying in the next "scene" and beating the wall with his fist. I see him injecting drugs, legal drugs, maybe insulin, by pinching his belly and injecting the needle sideways into the flesh. I see him limping and using a cane. I see a tween aged girl helping him walk. I see her injecting too, herself not him. She's still smiling. She's blonde,  green eyes with bluish rims, cross necklace. I see the bride is now doing dishes when the man falls down and she goes to him. White stuff is coming from his mouth, looks like an epileptic fit. She calls emergency and an ambulance gets him. Next the doctor has a brain scan and is showing it to the man and woman. The man is sad, the wife is sad, the doctor is rude but gives them a card, they take the card and look less sad. When they are watching tv here, it is a CRT (older tv) and the remote control is Huge, I am thinking this is the 80s but they might just not be up to date.. it doesn't matter sorry. They are watching and holding hands, the man has a shaved square on his head, the right side about 2 by 2 inches or 5 x 5 centimetres (I know cent better, so closer to that) and there are red dots in the patch. The man next is screaming at the woman. I can't hear anything in this dreamlike communication but it looks like they are arguing spitefully. She screams back. He almost throws a dish at her but stops himself and looks down at his hands and starts crying very hard - spit coming down and tears dropping on his cheeks. The woman comes to comfort him. They hug while he cries. In the kitchen there is a Felix the Cat clock, and I see its time telling arms aren't moving. I don't know if this is important, it might be to identify this man, no idea. Next I see them in bed and he is shaking, crying, drooling. his hair has grown back but there is another shaved part on behind and to the right of the last area. His wife is calling the doctor again. I see a flash of dozens of hospital visits like this. Then lastly I see him dangling from the garage door tracks in his garage as his daughter goes to get her bike. His whole head is bald and there are red dots everywhere, scarring, some new and some scabbed over. His daughter screams and it is the first thing I hear, she makes these weird sounds. A little boy of about five to six years old runs and the girl tries to cover his eyes but she is too late and he runs to the father and tries to wake him up and he's also screaming Dad! Dad! Stop it! Dad! It's horrible to watch. The wife isn't home, as she arrives much later. The girl and boy couldn't get their father down. The spirit is of the man, I'm sure now as he is appearing in front of me. He's sad, the memory of his children finding him is playing over and over again. For a split second he shows me what nightmarish pain he went through - like the worst migraine I have ever had at least tripled. Hard nausea. Dizziness. I ask him why he doesn't say words but he doesn't answer. I ask him if he regrets it and he shrugs and looks very sad. I sense he is unsure, that both things are equal - the relief and the sorrow - but the memory of his children finding him goes through my mind again and again before he waves and leaves.

Next is Bakeer or Backeer or Bakheer or something that sounds like that. I asked him to spell it out but it was in I think Arabic. He understands English almost perfectly, but can't read it well or write it well. When I spelled the third name Bakheer he nodded like he recognized it from something. He has a strong accent that sounds a little British but he assures me he's never been to the UK. I am going to try and interpret what he communicates as it is fast and direct - some in English but most in direct thought.
I asked him why he killed himself.
   He was very sick. He always had a kind of a cold, he couldn't walk because of pain in his legs - he could feel them fine but whenever he applied pressure to his feet and legs it would be this sharp jolt of pain. I think he lived in Dubai or a place like it. The pain from his legs was so bad that laying in bed, filled with morphine as much as his body could tolerate it, he would be unable to sleep even with the sedative effects of morphine. It was his legs up to his lower back at the top of the tailbone connecting to the spine. He couldn't lay on a side that felt okay, it was a little better laying on his stomach with pillows under his belly and that is how he slept the little that he could. Without medication he was in so much pain that breathing in and out drew tears from his eyes and often he would vomit twice or even three times a day even with anti nausea medication. He had enough when his wife could no longer care for him and they considered a home for the sick. His dignity wouldn't handle anymore "shame" from this illness. 
I then asked him if he regretted it.
He shook his head and said "no I was no longer a man but a beast of pain" as his every thought revolved around pain and symptoms and fear this his illness would cause harm to his family. He said he waited long enough. 
I then asked him for his advice to someone considering it.
"Know your limit" he says, "you would be surprised at how tough you can be" He sends me thoughts of all the times he considered suicide, even though his strong faith was staunchly against it, he waited and waited and did what he could. He showed me many things he accomplished - his house was now finished, beautiful and unique, perfect for his family; I see art (he was a fan of architectural Art Deco) and music on sheets; I see a short book and a long book; I see an amazing garden of succulent plants. There is more but I don't quite understand what it is, seems like financial papers and I see a stack of yellow and blue papers? He is proud. He is saying that people should do all they possibly can until they can't do anymore. 
He (paraphrased as it is half words and half thoughts) says, thinking of suicide made his life better as he always felt like each day was his last. For twenty years he thought about it, and did more in those twenty years than he had done all his life. He was 53 when he was helped to die, and he started thinking about it when he was 33 and had his second (or third, not sure as he is showing me lots of kids and some aren't his but nephews and nieces) child. Each day he would think about it like "today is the day" but then he would see himself as a warrior fighting back death and saying, "not today, I have things I can still do!" He says anyone considering suicide must tell death as often as they can to (I think he's saying F--k Off but in another language) until there is nothing left for him to do. He says if you can think of something other than pain at all during your day, wait. 
I told him about your questions, he will answer them, too, he insists.
"Have you ever met a spirit suicide due to chronic pain that is unbeatable to stand, unable to continue a normal life." To this he answered, "life a not normal life if you find you can say no to death for one more year, month, day, or even hour. Find your inner warrior and ask him if he can help you. If you can no longer be a warrior, then wait five months before you do it, tell your closest loved person, and let them help you to die, do not do it yourself!"
"Did they really escape the pain and not regret it?"
He answers, "I escaped the pain but it took a little while. My mind was so used to it and my soul couldn't let go. I do not regret it because I know I fought my hardest."

If you are considering suicide, please tell your loved ones, liked ones, and seek a suicide prevention crisis team. Listen to what the spirits said: allow those close to you a chance to help, always make sure to try everything you can before the permanent choice sends you into regret for a long time after death. 

Being in a physical body seems like being in the womb. We need to stay in here as long as possible so we can truly be free when our time comes.

Hang in there as long as you can and know there are so many who care - even if you can't see them.

Friday, March 18, 2016

I'm Baaaack : )

(See *** for Update at the end of this post.)

Look out for some new posts soon. I will fill you in on the happenings of the past year.. can't believe it's been so long. This last year has been a haze, and I have only gotten to emergency emails.. I feel so sad that I wasn't able to answer all emails. I assure you, were I healthy, I would answer them all quickly.

I plan on writing a lot more this year, and answering more mails. Your messages always bring my smile back and my courage to face whatever weird illness comes up next - lol!

See you soon!

*** Update for April 21st, 2016
Finally, after learning how to do it, I have added a donate button. I'm sorry it took so long, and I am so thrilled and honoured that it has been suggested and in some really complimenting cases - demanded lol! I am not a charity, but I talked with the Paypal folks and as I am not trying to sell anything, and I want you to be able to donate as little as 1$ to the site as well as doing it when you like and in what currency you like - this button is the one for me. Sorry it takes me so long to update to technology too ;) you know me, slow and steady.
I am working on a post that should publish today, hopefully, and a second one later this week or next week. I have had some amazing communications I can't wait to share - all of which were due to some very hard emergency emails from some amazing people.
I also want to say thank you to my readers for giving me purpose and the hunger to converse with spirits on topics I never thought about. I will have a special post to thank you properly, but for now I needed to say it: thank you thank you thank you.
Okay well, time for me to get back to typing. Have a sweet day.

As always, you can mail me at dead conversations at gmail (dot) com. I write weirdly so that bots don't pick up the email. The more spam mail, the longer it takes me to write back.

Much love!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Reader Questions Upcoming Volume 1

As mentioned a looong time ago, I have wanted to address reader questions as public posts here in Dead Conversations. Not only is this a place of spiritual communication, but I like to address human communication to this weblog.

I wanted to write about this series before I actually continue, so you can have time to write in with the guidelines making life simpler for you (and me ;) )

1. First thing's first: subject lines!
  a. Emergency - How to know if your case is an emergency: lives are at stake, sanity, spirits behaving aggressively etc. Type in the Subject line: EMERGENCY.
  b. Anything else, you don't have to type in the Subject line, except it would help to put the word DedCon so my filter can put you in the right inbox.

2. I will not give out personal information, I will change the mail so that only what needs to be written is there - nothing that could identify you if I can help it. If you like, you can even suggest an alias or nickname you want me to use, otherwise I will chose a random name. I DO NOT need birthday info or place of birth etc.. that is for Astrology and that's another skill I use independently. You can even give me a false name, although it helps for me to know your name when communicating with the dead.. they can get confused. That is messy. I won't use it in the article, however.

3. Don't be shy, I have a very high threshold and tolerance for weird, as you may have already imagined.

4. If you don't get into the first post of reader questions, I will eventually get to you. I may decide not to have you in the article, however, in case the question has been done to death, is inappropriate, or some other reason of my choosing. I offer no guarantees, I am just not that cool.

5. If you want a fast answer, ask a fast question! Short and sweet. My illness lets me handle short mails better, but I still read every mail with a smile on my face or compassion or both. I also take each mail seriously.

6. Please know I can take quite a long time to answer, depending on how many emergencies I have to cover and how my illness is at any given time. The shortest time I got back to someone is an hour, the longest I have taken is 2 YEARS. By then some people just ignore the answer sadly, but I want you to know that eventually I will write back - and I cherish every piece of mail that comes in that is civilized. Examples of mails I don't even read: insults, threats, anything hurtful to myself or other readers... Stuff like that.

7. I like lists like this, you probably know this by now if you're a long time reader ;) - oh, and I like smiley faces.

New mail address - Although I still check the other, this will be checked more frequently. I had way too much spam mail and scam mails, so now to speed up the answering, I have made a dedicated gmail address.


I put this email in fragments so that at least some address bots for spam companies can't scoop up this email address. I would appreciate it if you wouldn't put this address on facebook or sites without fragmenting it like this - thanks :D

Monday, May 04, 2015

Future Of Medicine 2

Since the previous post was enjoyed and I was asked for more, this post is going to be a continuation of the article's goal. Things have been hard the past couple of weeks so posts haven't been coming out, but I thought a little post here would be good for me and my feeling of purpose. 

My sister in law has Lyme's disease and suffers from it greatly. So after the last medical post, I did a reading specifically on Lyme's and Alzheimers, another demon that torments her, and here I am going to transcribe it.

Lyme's Disease
There will be a cure, a full cure, but it will burn. I think it is a liquid for an intravenous treatment - and there is a bird connection to the name or manufacturers. A powerful coctail of antivirals or antibacterials that is notoriously painful but equally effective. In five years you will see it emerge as a new drug in testing, and in ten years - you will see it in the last human tests. Right now it is on paper, but the red tape is tangling the research group (could be sooner if the unnecessary complications to do with an error on paper). I think it is red coloured, the medication, but that can easily be what I interpreted as a burning. I have the taste in mouth as the spirit explains it will help describe the chemicals.. it is bitter and sour, like cranberries without the sweetness or enjoyment, reminds me of mosquito repellant, and drinking it would result in very, very sick folk. The sourness is not like lemon sour, but smells of battery acid of a leaked, old battery. Yuck, I hope I can get that taste out of my mouth, even as I transcribe this, I get the taste again. X25 982 - is another detail about the cure, I heard it called out by a journalist in the vision.. not sure what this means. 
The cure will not undo the damage done, but a "compliment treating" will restore brain function, nerves, and I see a feather on a foot.. I don't know what this means. Maybe feeling? I will ask my sister in law, hopefully she can shed some light.  "Breathing is normallized" compared to another "compliment treating" (I think this means Complimentary Treatment?) that causes asthma like symptoms in those who go through it. Other things I heard and saw in the communication: "Duncan" or "Dunkirk" (a Dunc sound that I really think is Duncan), that bird symbol can be white, black, or metallic, an inhaler for the cure?, "Frank" and Goorey/Glory. I think Frank might be France, but I might be wrong, could be a person called Frank. This treatment is not covered by insurance without a lot of paperwork from three different sources.
In six years, there will be talk about a 100% effective vaccine for it in a prominent scholarly medical journal - I see it connected with a sharp grey and shiny object maybe then it is the Lancet periodical - and those who do not already have Lyme's can get this vaccine to prevent getting it. It is 50$/500/5000 (those three numbers with slashes) "CDA" or "CDC" (Canadian Dollars? Center for Disease Control ?) at least and not coverd by many insurance companies, not for at least a decade, I am thinking 15 years. Not sure why, seems cruel.

Alzheimer's. A nightmare within a nightmare. 13 years. I feel confident the cure, or something very close to a cure, will be available. And 3 years from now, there will be a promising treatment that halts the illness' progression quite "forcefully". I see a doctor in a white coat, but it is not a lab coat - seems a little shiny but the sun or some strong light is really beating down on them. The spirit shows me the lab of this doctor (not with eyes but with quick flashes of touch and impressions - A wicker basket hidden near the desk? ... Another bird? Yes, a bird on the desk with something in its beak. Strawy. Desktop background is two smiling faces that the person has taken themselves, big eyebrows, drop earrings, white shirt. There is a scent spray that is never used. There is a spirit whispering to the doctor. 
The cure is something relatively new, I see little white (why is there so much white.. maybe the name is Blanco or Blanca or White or Blanc?) things that look like two Tic Tacs joined haphazardly together. I feel a chalky smooth hard bland - I hear words, I will write them as I hear them: "en-tee niyn" "Trome Da" - I think chemical names? "Tromadeen" "Trimadeen" "Treemaden" something like that, they speak too fast. I see twisting snakelike shapes, like thin tiny kayaks interwining - almost writhing. 
November, fast, crispy wet leaves, dark, a red tie, and a blue skirt, several suits, so many flashing lights, so much chatter.. hundreds of people. Announced. To the doctor that leads the troupe of 23: this medication will change the world, not only for Alzheimer's but for most brain and nerve illnesses. Sleek, sleekens, fast. I am sorry if this is cryptic, but it will make sense later. That's how it usually works. 
13 years seems like a long time, and is a long time, but two generations in the future - children will be taught, learning with horror of the "brain plague" as a little boy (he needs to blow his nose) on a documentary says - and the truth of the illness will come out in that kid's generation. I think in 23 years.
I truly hope I am right about the date, or that it is sooner. 

As with any future-sight through spirit communications, I am putting a lot of faith into the spirits that give me this information, and putting my reputation on the line, especially with such small time periods. It scares me but also thrills me. I have had a lot, more than half - I would daresay 75-80% - of success with predictions from spirits of the future. I don't know how it works, but I love the theory that they are in an extra dimension - unbound by our physical body. In the Mothman movie with Richard Gere, it was explained as a person (1) sitting on top of a tall building, this person could see much more of the city than the person (2) on street level. Using a walkie talkie, that person 1 could warn the person 2 of an oncoming car when crossing the street where a building is in the way to the person 2 seeing said car. Another wonderful illustration was seen in the recent movie, Interstellar, where time was seen as a physiclal dimension. From what spirits have told me - this construct is a good example of the experience, except they don't see it with eyes - but with what ever sensors their current state of being affords.  More on this another time.

The communications themselves are very fast, and very dizzying, like being in a personal tornado or fast dance and having to come up with details of images around you. But With practice, you learn how to slow it down and look, listen, feel, smell, touch - and other senses with alacrity. The other senses are things like - the feeling of being watched, barometric pressure (weird but in my body I have learned to sense big barometric changes (changes in the atmosphere's pressure with my illness), also the sense of time, of the age of something, emotions, electricty, etc.. spirits communicate so much so fast. I am so humbled by their patience with me.

More future readings to come, but not all medical!

Friday, April 17, 2015

The Future of Medicine (Between 2017-2115)

About This Article

I've wanted to do this for some, another reading that channels directly from a spirit through me and onto the page/ I do not allow the spirits to use my hands or body, but I invite them in my mind to communicate in a very intimate and sometimes terrifying way. I want you to experience as much of it as possible, but I am no poet - a lot might get lost in translation.

The Topic and Method

I hope to engage a spirit who wants to talk about the future of the world, in any part of the world, as it is something universal compared to asking specific questions about specific people - what is usually done. What happens next is that I relax, both body and mind, and try to empty my mind of thoughts. I listen to the chatter, that seemingly endless stream of thoughts I can hear whenever I focus. I call it the Ether, just to label it for conversation's sake. Were I a radio, this would be "tuning" by ear - listening to the sounds as you turn the dial. If I were a TV - well, it'd be channel surfing quickly till I find something interesting to stay on for a few seconds for more of a idea of what the show's about; I find a good show and focus on it without focusing too hard. The more you fine tune the focus, the more your own personal bias can interfere. Bias.. the best reason to check your ego at the door before you continue on the way to a good channeling. It is sometimes good, however, to have some subjects or questions in mind - that way you're focused a little. Today, I want to focus on health care in the future.

The Reading

AIDS\HIV will be cured 100%, a thing of the past in the not so distant future. Definitely before 2100 - most likely 2080. In connection to Turkey (the country) but not just that country. Seems like a global made cure 8 countries. Several cancers will meet their match within a microscopic organism harnessed by scientists and programmed - while others will be cured by a new medicine - yellow, sweet - and pale blue. Skin cancer will be cured by "stripping" skin or something that looks like skin. All cancer will one day be history. I see a flurry of white coats, a woman with what looks like a beard (might be a joke beard?) with a blue turtle neck in a documentary called "How We Cured Cancer", the interviewer has something to do with Hick or Hickey or Hickson - something with Hick. She has noticeable lipstick that is talked about in magazines.. you know like the Blue/Gold dress thing. Something about a vulva or uvula tumor that really speeds up research.

I see a fake yellow flower, with a long stamen.. this is something in a museum next to the "Race to the Cure for Cancer" in a fairly new museum in New York City.. not sure if it exists now in planning, but by 2030 it definitely will exist. "Side road".

I see a cure for Parkinson's... electrical. Looks like an implant of some sort, maybe temporary. It is so much like a pacemaker. Children can even get it. I see a celebration where a horrible tragedy befalls one of the celebrants or staff at the party (feels like both) - a fire or burning sensation.. nausea. I see there are at first some serious side effects that the company has to work out. The company is run by someone who cares about the illness, but not as much as the money he will get out of this. Old man, grey/white short beard. Blue eyes.. the guy kinda reminds me of Englund from Nightmare on Elm Street fame.

I see a cure for something that sounds like "Passonna" or "Passover" or "Passon" - a rare disease or pathogen. The cure itself seems worse than the disease, but it's not as bad after the trials. The trials had a mishap.

Life extension will have humans able to live up to 250 years "guaranteed" - it is a medicine that works on DNA or RNA, a pill you take - it's small and circular, rounded so the edges are skinnier than the center. Dark coloured.. maybe dark wine coloured or dark dusky blue. This pill will cost upwards of a million dollars American. It is a project between America and France. The creators have already started working on it today.. but the actual medication will not come out until AT LEAST 2180. Sorry, not in your lifetime! But there will be something in our lifetimes that will help you live more to 120 years. This is more of a fresh feeling, green, I taste lettuce or smell it, watery, maybe a liquid med or intravenous fluid. This works on "degradation" and is the most powerful source of antioxidants - a synthetic which mimics some plant's ability. A green plant.. I don't see a flower but it's hard to tell.

A major breakthrough in auto-immune disorders such as ALS, MS, FMS, Arthritis, CFS, and Lupus will help half the world's population. It is expensive obviously, at first, but as time goes by and legislation makes history against big pharmaceutical companies' greed (it is 300x more expensive than it should be - the pill should be 20$ each and taken once a day for a year at least). The compound is "dynamite" or "dyna" something related. Refresher. Rolling pin. I see six lines, four squares, and a bunch of balls spinning around an unseen axis. I see 12 ladders screwed up. I see a murder committed over this cure. It is held back by someone big - someone with a blue outfit, big chin, "thirsty eyes". I see a tazer, yellow tape. Even though this is a sad time for the murder's victims (family of the person too etc) - it is rejoiced the world over, many people calling it the single biggest contribution to health care in five decades. I see a "stucky" or "bucky" ball in one fo the newspaper articles about this, Sherry, there is TIME magazine with the cure smack on the cover, another issue has a picture of the team - like a school class photo is arranged. "Medical Rock stars" on another magazine. So many newspaper, blog, magazine, TV articles about it.. It is not only used on auto immune disorders - but has numerous applications due to the type of medicine it is. It has anti seizure properties, is has (weird I see a banana shape) antiviral properties, and it has "life preserving" applications in non related illnesses. Sorry it's hard to channel sometimes.. I know I'm throwing abstracts at you, but it's quite difficult. I see huge names of powerful people, celebrities, and more donating insane amounts of money to help those less fortunate who can't get the cure on their own. I see a sports figure, baseball or basketball, who is at the moment a child but will be an older sports hero at the time, who has his name on a generic cure bottle for some reason. Cereal advertising returns - literally there will be adverts for Virgin and Coke and something called Craze or Crazy that'll be huge. Sorry that was random.

A degenerative bone disorder, I don't know what it is but it's complicated and mostly in the hands, will also find a cure. This time from "Reeds" or "Reids" or "Reads" - I see a connection with Yonkers, I see a connection with Bath or Beth - an inspiration for the cure. I see the moment of understanding came during a day where the wind was refreshing, the person was taken aback by the loveliness of the breeze - and they saw a bug in the wind. That was important.

As the spirit spoke of (spirits) this windy inspiration, I see that bees will finally be cured of the parasite that is killing the honeybees. It might be the wind and bug was a phasing from one thing to another. The cure will come in a bog or swamp. Another micro organism that will "eat" the parasite while promoting health in the bees. Some bees will have a bad "reaction" and will die from it - but not most of them, it's a rare 10% thing.

Lastly, I see something that looks like toothpaste which is a cure for a skin disease - no not a disease, it works to heal operation wounds faster. I see it being applied to a skin lesion and it heals 20% faster with antiseptic properties alike to iodine. Maybe iodine is in it as well.. not sure. This changes field medic technologies and paramedic kits forever.. many people are saved. What a wonderful technology. It even comes in a toothpaste looking container. You apply it to the wound, and gosh it burns - but not bad enough to not use it lol.

Broken bones, especially tricky fractures and breaks, will get help from a small computer - it moves and fixes the bones on the microscopic level - and then is absorbed into the blood stream and passed through urine. You have to then collect the urine whenever you go and give it to the medical office for testing for some reason.. or maybe recycling. It is developed with sports medicine in mind and can have a broken player returned in HALF the normal time. A big win.

Nano bots play a big part in medicine in the future, as do Designer Bugs - little bacteria looking things that are genetically engineered to target specific cells like cancer cells, cells with viruses or viruses themselves, and many blood disorders like high cholesterol. They scoop up fat and enclose it in themselves, maybe even eating fat. Yes. I see that now. The mico organism eats fat and in so, eats some errant hormones? I don't get it much but here you are. The little robots will work with little "noses" or "tongues" to sense the chemical they were programmed to - they bind to it and secrete a substance to either annihilate it or encapsulated. Some of the stuff looks like mucus whereas other stuff is bright hot pink and when you urinate or defecate it out - you see what looks like bright bubblegum pink or Pepto pink. Looks hilarious!! Other ones come out that are a bright electric blue. Some other of the little robots work with "feathering" (no idea ) and others work with tiny little lasso - looking things.

Apart from designer mico organism and nano bots, another big thing that is coming is inhaled medicines. That is going to get a lot more popular. At first I thought it was an inhaler for asthma.. but no - everything from a cancer medication to vitamins tailored to the person. I see a white inhaler that cuts the flu down 90%.

Okay, I am exhausted. I will do this again some time :) Feel free to mail me and tell me what you think. I still get mails now about past readings into the future, and love it. Might not make sense now, this article, but in the future it might. My future reading accuracy is pretty high when it comes to grand scale things.

Love and Hope,


Wednesday, April 15, 2015

How to Invite a Spirit into Your Dreams to Converse!

After this article will be an update on a few things, including how my computer is finally saved from oblivion ;) I know I have spoken about dreams and spirits, but now I want to make a post only about it and answering the more popular questions regarding ghosts and dreams.

Can Ghosts Communicate Through Dreams and Nightmares?

In my experience, they certainly can and do so frequently. That is the most plain answer I can give, and as you know - plain answers bore me and I require some elaborative fun.

How Can I Tell if a Spirit is Communicating in a Dream?

The dreams will feel more detailed, more lucid, more like reality. They will be less disjointed and much easier to remember when you wake up.
Sometimes they will lock eyes with you to try and get your attention, eye contact that feels almost tangible - like a warm breeze mixed with quick panic. Sometimes they will walk through your dreams, from one to another, and keep looking at you in that piercing way. I am not sure why they do this, but from what I have gathered it seems like it is the brain's way of perceiving the communication.
Sometimes you will wake up and see them for a split second.
Sometimes you will wake up and smell a sweet smell, or a scent that reminds you of them.
Sometimes you will be unable to wake yourself from the dream, even though you know it is a dream.

Can I Force or Encourage a Spirit Communication Through Dreams?

So far as I can tell, I have never been able to force a dream conversation by will alone - no. But there are probably very gifted people out there who can just force the communication. One thing I do not like to do is force spirits to do anything - and so I have never experimented with such ideas.
Encouraging is another thing. With Spirits, the best thing you can do is talk to them aloud or in your mind - like inner monologue - the way you talk to yourself inside your head. Try this one night:
1. Clear your mind before bed, when you're all tucked in and lights are out. Have a notebook or notepad and pen or pencil by your bed or even a tablet or smartphone or other computer.. Set your alarm to wake you up at an appropriate time in the morning.
2. Breathe in a count of 4 and slower out to a count of 8. Repeat four times.
3. If you are feeling nervous or scared or like something bad is watching you... do not attempt the rest of this exercise until such time as these feelings are gone. When you feel at peace, calm, and happy - that's a green light to continue to step 4.
4. In your mind, I want you to say the name of the spirit you're trying to contact for a good minute or so, slowly and with focused care. If you want to just invite a friendly spirit or patron spirit (someone out to help you) , instead say "friendly, kind spirits" or "guardian spirit".
5. Then I want you to say your goal for that night - for example "I want to communicate with you during my dreams" or "I would like you to give me your guidance in a dream" or "I'm open to anything you have to say while I am asleep" or "I need help, please come to me in my dreams."
6. If you feel happy and calm still, continue to the next step. If you feel scared, nervous, or that "being watched" feeling - red light.. stop and try again another night.
7. Then I want you to use that inner voice and invite them, welcome them, to your dreams. Say something like, "You are welcomed in my dreams" or "I invite you in my dreams" or "You have permission to enter my dreams."
8. Go to sleep. Have no expectations, this might not work the first time, or the first dozen times, or the first hundred. Relax and feel the comfort of your bed and calmed muscles slowly release the tension of the day.
9. When your alarm goes off, let it ring. Do not move your head quickly. Be gentle and slow. Try to remember your dreams and write ALL the details you recall. Sometimes reading over it again can give your memory a kick start to get more goodies. Keep writing until you are satisfied.

Keeping the dream journal is essential. The more you recall your dreams, the more you can recall spirit communications. They are certainly more memorable, but the detail of recall can be improved by writing all your dreams down. If you don't have time to write it all out (I have done this for a long time so I know how time consuming it can be) - use keywords. I will give you an example.

I had a dream that my grandfather was sitting next to me (I have many dreams of my Grandfathers) in the usual parlour he'd have special guests in - you know, one of those fancy living rooms only used for company? Well he used it for his shop too, and I recall loving the furniture and wanting to sit down on this particular chair - but I was too scared to damage it - it was so old and fine and delicate. In the dream, he allowed me to sit in the chair. His bedroom was melded with this parlour, and all the paintings he had there, the vanity, and bed. The bed had some puppets sleeping, and I told my grandfather to stay quiet. He smiled and told me this was just a dream. And we had time to talk the whole night, for what felt like a day in dream time, which I had missed out on a lot as he lived so far from me as a child. 12 hours of driving, in my condition, was not possible after the age of 20ish. We shared our "I love you" and "I miss you" and before I woke up - he told me that he was always there to help.

How would you keyword a dream like this instead of writing it all out? Here's how I do it, maybe it'll give you ideas for your own system.

+Grandpa +Special Parlour +Bedroom melded +Puppets Sleeping +All a dream +Love +Miss +Help

These keywords kinda cheapen the moment, I know, but the words are keys that unlock the full memory. Just remembering the puppets and him telling me about it being just a dream would bring back a lot of details of the conversation we'd had. The melded bedroom and parlour would remind me of the furniture, etc. Having these keywords and reading them aloud to yourself really sustains the memory for longer. Dream journaling has greatly increased my dream recall.

A last important note about recording dreams - if spirits say things that stick out.. like lines you remember more clearly - such as "watch out for the red car with the black spoiler" (from an old dream journal entry of mine) - do not just key word it. Keyword AND quote. Not paraphrase, but a direct quote as sometimes there are double meanings or subtleties you might have missed while dreaming or while recalling the dream for the first time.

What do I do with the Dream Journal?

Well, you leave space to write what happened that day, the next day, and so on - and see if there are any correlations with the dream. You can also use it to remember the wonderful moments you spend with spirits. Sometimes spirits will warn you about something, and so it's a good thing to be able to look back in the journal for clues to what you need to do or avoid.
Keep the journal away from others, especially bully types and people who just don't get anything that isn't taught in schools. Some people do not understand dream journaling and mistake it for something negative or even against their religion. So as with anything in these lines, keep it to yourself and those you trust not to use such things against you.
Refer to the dream journal as often as you are curious. Spirits will often nudge you to go back to a clue. You could get a sudden need to look at it, or even an image in your mind of the journal or the dream(s) will flash in your mind. Use it as a generalized journal or have a separate journal to write down the happenings of the day - that way you can compare.

I hope this has been helpful, or interesting!
Thank you for reading my rambles, and take care of yourselves.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Testing, testing, 1,2,3!

Apologies for missing my weekly post (been trying to post every Friday but the app I was using crapped out, so now I am using another app.) This is a post in progress - I wanted to post something soon to keep up with my Friday posting time (near it) and now you can see what I am working on!

As I mentioned in last Friday's post on Lucid Dreaming (Part 1) - I recently purchased a so-called 'mind machine' and it arrived a few days ago much to my excitement. This type of machine, so you don't have to go back to the other article, modifies brainwaves using light and sound. Here's a pic of the one I got...

 (my new program sucks right now, I am sorry for the lack of photo..)

I blurred out the name as I don't advertise for free, especially before I have had a chance to use it and research enough to endorse it. This is one of the budget units but from what I read, it all does the same stuff, some just have more bells and whistles.

 Primarily I got this to help reduce pain and relax myself. The glasses have LEDs that flash light in varying speeds, patterns, and colour. The headphones make a beeping, pulsing sound. The controller lets you select what program you want to use, the volume of the sound, and the brightness of the light.

  Why am I showing you this? Well I am quite interested to use it and measure what effect (if any) it will have on my ability to see spirits, hear them, communicate with them, etc. A test, experiment, trial. It is also a good lead in to the Lucid Dreaming Part 2.  I want to if I either slow down or speed up my brainwaves: will it change my extrasensory perception? I will do more experiments in the future as this is just a little test.   

 Hallucinogens and other mind altering drugs have long been used in the quest to contact the dead. From fungus to synthetic compounds, even secretions from animals, it has been a long and crazy road for us humans. Now non-medicated biofeedback has long been used also, in trances for example and meditation, to do the same. It all comes down to changing our perception and states of consciousness. I am not going to do weird drugs. I do not condone the use of them, but I also do not think people who go that route safely and reasonably should be punished. With binaural beats, isochronic tones, mind machines, strobes, etc - there is a way to get into certain mind sets without drugs and without dangerous side effects if you know what you are doing. Use at your own risk, be careful my friends.

 I truly want to find out what is better for contacting spirits the most effectively: Intense Beta Waves, Mellow Alpha Waves, or  Sleepy Theta Waves. Beta is the wave you are in when you are stressed, alert, it is very common especially in our cultures' fascinating frenetic pace. Alpha state is when you are mellow, centered, meditating, truly relaxed but still aware. This is the place I usually aim for when I contact spirits, after nice meditation to center myself and be ready for frightening moments, etc. It is also how I have been taught. Theta waves represent a state of dreamy sleep, it is hard to be conscious when you are in this state but with some hard work I want to try and get there and record what I say - as I have often had amazing encounters in this state.. and I want to know if what I saw was dream or the perfect place to be to contact the deceased. Here we go!   For each, I will be asked questions I have no way of knowing to test for an extrasensory eve. I will compare the outcome's success rate in each section. I will post the results in the following section:  

 1. High Beta Waves
 2. Alpha Waves
 3. Theta Waves

Friday, March 20, 2015

Lucid Dreaming Foundation: Meditation

(this post, for some reason, didn't publish two Fridays ago.. so here it is and apologies for the wait and confusion)

Lucid Dreaming: the ability we have to be aware, even control, dreams and access dreams as a way to connect with other parts of our consciousness.

(If you want to skip some anecdotes and backstory, and would prefer some applications, head to the second part of this article, as marked by a headline: Part 2) 

It is a long, difficult path for many people to lucid dream. Many people stumble upon it, never again to experience it again. Some people make it their life's work, such as the awesome Stephen LaBerge - a name nearly synonymous with lucid dreaming, and some people think it's a load of bull. We, as people of open and inquiring minds are used to the latter people.. people that close their minds to such important ideas. Not to say that skeptics are bad, they are necessary, but there is a gaping chasm between skeptic and stubborn closed mindedness. 

My opinion and experiences are of the observation that consciousness is more than what we are taught and that exploring and opening it would bring about massive benefits to society. Imagine a world where we're partners with our subconscious! So many misunderstandings in the world are caused by projecting our own subconscious emotions onto others. More problems are caused by emotional repression and misinterpretation etc. Anyways, this is besides the point of the article, I don't know how I feel - or more importantly: how you feel about my long social opinions ;) This is a diary about spirits, not politics! 

In my quest for pain management, as well as my mission to unravel more truths about the unseen universe, lucid dreaming has come up many a time in my meditation study. I have been meditating for well over a decade (almost two) since my pain began to affect my schoolwork in grade school. I was introduced to a guru who opened up my mind to such things. He was amazing. He could see that I saw spirits, and he saw the same ones I did.. I was thrilled to meet someone like him with such an open mind and such experiences! Being dead, I have often tried to contact him since I heard of his death - as contacting him in life seemed near impossible. He wasn't "connected" to anything. No phone number, no address, no email (back then I was only a BBS frequenter and some IRC so email would have been near useless anyways) but I would see an alternative magazine with his smiling face in the "Upcoming Talks" section and would want to go see him but never had the guts to do so. I felt he wouldn't have remembered me or if he did.. would he be disappointed by my lack of progress? One of the things we had talked about on our meeting (an intimate gathering of about fifteen people, in which I totally hogged his time.. or maybe he hogged mine lol) was lucid dreaming. This was a new word to me, a new world, a new thought. I thought half seeing spirits was the be all and end all of my abilities.. but opening a world of conscious dreaming seemed like a fairy tale come true! I imagined sleep being another phase of being awake.. time no longer "wasted" just being unconscious at night! I imagined how much creative work I would get done, studying for school, and learning to block my pain... 

But that is not what lucid dreaming is, and I was disappointed and it was drifting back into the obscurity of forgetting. I thought that if it wasn't all that, then it wasn't worth the hard work. Oh was I wrong! 

The journey of lucid dreaming is half of the importance of the thing! 

When you work on lucid dreaming, the best way to start is by learning to meditate, in my opinion. Learning to feel the different levels of awareness (aka Different intensities of brain activity, such as Beta, Alpha, Theta, Delta and Gamma waves you hear about {including from yours truly}) and what each level of awareness does to your mind and body - and more importantly in the context of this article and blog: spirit. There is SO much more to people than current cultures allow to grow. We're stunted by fear, prejudice, closed mindedness, stubbornness and ignorance. What potential wasting away! So many answers hide inside of us due to this cultural boundary.. but I am so glad there are people like you out there.. people interested in that potential, people who dare to challenge social taboos. Responsibly, of course. 

The more I explore these levels of consciousness, the more I begin to strengthen and widen my bridge to the dead and the other amazing things out there to be beheld. Consciousness and mastering consciousness is what defines a spirit after it is freed from its fetal stage as a human. The most vibrant of all spirits are the ones who challenged the status quo of the mind and developed it... Mmm I could write an entire book about this.. let's get on to the more practical applications. 

Part 2: Lucid Dreaming, Starting Your Journey
I want you to start your journey as soon as possible. I want you to open the wrapped present that is your mind and take it out for a real test drive. I want you to hunger for more and start exercising the most important muscles of your infinite existence. No time like now. 

The first video I am making is a guided script to build lucid dreaming muscles, but it'll take a while to complete as I am a bit of a finicky creator. I want this to be the best it can be to give you a great head start. But what can I do to help you before that? The answer comes from a wonderful guided meditation guru, Jody Whitely. 

Ms Whitely has been an unknowing companion to my sleep since I discovered his videos. Great guided meditations, free and very well scripted and executed. These meditations include Lucid Dreaming scripts. When you have time, go see those, use them during a nap or in bed before you go to sleep at night. The scripts are deceptively simple! Everything down to the pacing of the words, the tone, the volume, and pitch are all used to change your consciousness. I am a little shy but I hope to mail her sometime and thank her for the help. If her voice irks you, just remember - it is done in a special way to aid the meditation. It is not just a guided meditation, but a type of hypnosis. Don't worry, you won't cluck like a chicken or suddenly have the urge to buy strange products, you are completely in control. (And this is not an ad for anything! I am not getting anything for the suggestion to go and use the videos.) 

An alternative is to use what's known as "Binaural Beats" - which just means putting on headphones and sounds are used quickly between left and right in order to create a trancelike state to adjust your brainwaves. Just think of two drums, one left and one right, being drummed almost at the same speed. Your brain can hear the difference and it is trying to synchronize the beats of the drums to close the tiny gap, as human brains like orderly sounds. The gap's size, that is - the time between the left drum and right drum's beat - changes the brain's work to close this gap and this affects the brainwaves. So you can slow it down and speed it up in order to change your brainwave from fully awake, to asleep and dreaming. Amazing stuff. This isn't new.. practitioners of shamanic magic and Vodun (Voodoo) have long used this to enter trances by using drums and other percussive instruments. With technology, you can do this alone and without the arm pain if you're new to drumming ;) 

Isochronic tones are a different technique but work on the same principle to have a similar effect with the same goal. It's a fancy way of saying: a pulsing sound characterized by periods of silence and sound in varying pitches and speeds. The sound wave itself usually looks like a string of beads. These tones use the same type of gap closing mechanism in the brain and can be used alone or in concert with binaural beats. These do not require headphones, and that is the biggest advantage. 

If you really want to get fancy, there is a thing called a Mind Machine which incorporates sound and lights (from a weird looking pair of sunglasses you put on) to have a more global gap closing effect. I have recently (today) completed a four year mission to find one at an affordable price and I will review it upon getting the machine. Hopefully I can get some ad revenue lol.. although money will never change my opinions. I couldn't live with myself*. Anyways, try free stuff before you spend hundreds on a Mind Machine - I found one for just a tad over a hundred dollars and mainly it is to help with my pain.** 

If you are unwilling or tentative about each of these suggestions - then I suggest you get a good book about meditation and start there. Different people require different methods, so it is hard to suggest a book. Personally, I prefer Pranayama - breathing exercises which I use to enter deep meditation. Some people prefer attempting Zazen, a Zen meditative state of completely clearing he mind. Others prefer visualizations, or even what's know as a Talk Down, or even a rocking back and forth for hours for example. Find your way! 

I will post about this again soon, I am planning for next week, to take things to a new level for opening up to spirit communication. I wanted to get this out to get you started on the meditation aspect.

*Even when I speak a wrong word, hurtful or just wrong, it haunts me more than some spirits do. I recently began to make amends (I am not in a 12 step program but in a conscience clearing mission of my own artifice) for all the big and little things I have done in my life. One for such a slight error as saying they were booty-full instead of beautiful as a joke.. even though I am rather fond of big rumps, I found out that she was, unfortunately, not a fan. I couldn't fathom the kind of remorseful hell I would go through would I lie to my readers after being a proponent of honest relating of experiences. What I tell you is the truth as I know it, and not only do I do this as a show of respect, but also a hope that one day everyone will relate their experiences truthfully in use of future of study - edification is useless if based on lies - and lastly, I cannot stand more hauntings of wrongdoings. The biggest wrongdoing was during a time of duress, I broke a friendship in impatience of her being inconsiderate of my illness. We're both wrong, but I take the onus of apologies. See why I asterisked this note? Would have been totally out of context in the article. Goodness, I can't even imagine how much I would suffer would I commit a crime.. or God forbid, kill someone... when even saying one wrong word haunts me for years!

 **I have actually been searching for the device since a physiotherapist used it on me once and refused to let me use it again. It actually stopped my pain looping.. pain looping is when someone hurts you and the sensation repeats over and over again. For example, if someone pokes me in a non trigger point area, I feel it for at least 20 mins. After his treatment, the looping disappeared! I cried with joy and asked for more. Later, he said. So I waited and paid him nearly 2k during only three sessions (or was it two) - a great chunk of the money was for blood tests, DNA profile, and adrenaline profile.. but then the treatment would be (for three months) another 2 thousand dollars! I couldn't afford that! Only after the hook did he tell me the price. So I have studied the machine (he wouldn't tell me what it is or where to get it) and tried to find a name.. and I found it! But then I had to find one I could afford. Now, for the price of two of his "treatment sessions" - less if one includes the travel costs and time and energy - I can do it at home? Oh wow.. I have high hopes but as always - low expectations. Easier not to get hurt that way. I will keep you updated.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015


Greetings, fellow open minded beings and all round awesome folks!

So I have some big plans for Dead Conversations. It is one of the positive, motivating factors in my life even during the worst part of my illness. Your letters and readership mean so much to me and continue to be a source of healing and hope. I want to get more involved and bring more content and experiments and different media such as videos and photographs and such.

So here's what I am working on:

Guided Meditation Audio/Video by myself - basically tools I have found helpful to developing and opening the senses necessary for spiritual contact and the Connected Inside. Explanation! When I am in deep openness of mind and spirit, there is a place my mind and senses go that allow me to see such amazing things: some call it the Astral Plane, others call it the Ether, Universal Consciousness, some call it a Psychic Highway (I like that description!) and others make up allll sorts of names and descriptions of so much variety and great poesy and wisdom that blows the mind. For me, I try not to label things, but labels are good for communicating and so I will use something that feels right to me: The Connected Inside. It is so deep inside consciousness, at the barrier between conscious and subconscious - and yet it is connected to so much. From what I have read, the countless articles, books and sacred texts - it seems to connected to the Collected Consciousness / Universal Consciousness but also it accesses the deepest, oldest part of yourself and purest part of yourself. Sometimes I spend way too much time there, but I always find something, some tidbit of life changing information or perspective change or spiritual connection. I want to share this and help in your quest for spiritual awakening. My quest is never done, I don't think there is such a thing as an end to it, not as an embodied soul - but that is only opinion.

Representation of Auras and Spirits - I have been asked and I'd like to show you what I, personally see, with the caveat that auras are hard for me. Why they are hard is that when I am about to have a migraine (can be daily, weekly, monthly) - I also see haloes, which are glowing lights people see in the beginning phases of migraines. So Sometimes I am unsure as to what I am seeing.

Forum for you to connect to others in the same or similar quest for the hidden worlds.

Reader Mail segments where I answer mails on the website itself. I have issues balancing letter-writing and writing of this journal AND the medical treatments I need to do daily - It has long been suggested that I do letters on here.

Facebook and Twitter accounts, if the forums don't work out as well as I hope. I am not one for big site socialization, as anything you say can be used by those companies.. I really dislike that. I would hate for your privacy or intellectual property would be stolen. The thing I like about this blog is that it is a cozy family, a trusted space for me and hopefully you. Twitter would seem to be useful to announce new posts, hopeful live-streams one day, and videos etc for those who use it often.

Lastly, experiments! My favourite thing! An example of an experiment is to get some sensory equipment while I am in the same room as a spirit, or while I am doing a reading - to see what is set off, and what is not. Another example would be trying to connect with a historical figure, or doing past life investigation.

Today I think I might actually finish a video today, and if so - I will add a link when I finish!

Thank you for reading. Have a sweet day!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad